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Dr.Anderson told me she would respect my decision and try to help me overcomemy feelings; but I could tell that she thought that was the wrongdecision.When Jessica came back from the holiday break, I pretended like I was allbetter and my episode was over. I played the part of the boyfriend. Iwas miserable inside. I was not attracted to Jessica sexually at all. Iloved her as a friend and that was all. I knew I should tell her but Ijust couldn't bring myself to do it; so I thought that with therapy Icould overcome my feelings. I didn't. The feelings became overwhelmingand my relationship with Jessica took the brunt of my misery. We fought alot and I just couldn't get myself to sleep with her anymore. It wasalways a chore, but now I know that I am not attracted to women that way. Any time Jessica wanted to get amorous, I would instantly drive her awaywith some excuse. The beginning of the end between us happened rightbefore summer break. Jessica had planned a vacation for. Losing my temper quicker, not being as interested in spending time with them, just waiting for the next chance to be here. I knew it was happening, but I couldn’t resist the feelings I had for you.”I sighed and said, “Josh, we don’t have to keep doing what we’ve been doing. We can just be friends again, if that’s what you want.”He smirked, wiping his eyes, and said, “No, we can’t.” He lowered his head again and said, “At least, not for me. I wouldn’t be able to spend the entire day around you and control myself having you that close. I couldn’t have you within arms reach and not touch you, hold you...kiss you.” This last part made him close his eyes again.He then stood abruptly and said, “That’s why I can’t stay.” He grabbed his phone off the desk and shoved it into his pocket, anger seemingly pouring out his pores as he used his leg to kick the rolling desk chair away and walked toward the door.I put my arm out as he went to pass me and wrapped it gently around his side and pulled.
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